When I was little I was never one to paint my nails and play with dolls.I was a tomboy and being that I had two brothers and no sisters, I was treated like one of the boys.I played in the dirt,played with trucks never really cared for dresses ect.So flash foward to 21 yrs later, I wear a bit of make up and I love to paint my nails.I do different designs and I don't know they make me feel beautiful in a way.Crazy?How could painting my nails make me feel beautiful?I don't know! It just does,It makes me feel more feminine.My sister in law, mother, and I choose a day out of the week and do our nails.Only problem is we do them in the living room.What's the problem? Well the men in our family hate the smell of nail polish.They hate it when we sit down and have our girl time because they can't stand the odor.I mean to us we don't even notice the smell. So that makes me wonder do all guys or most guys hate the smell of nail polish?Do some  girls hate the smell too?I don't, but thats me.Ugh so my brother insists we do it in one of our rooms.Heven goes as far as hiding my nail polishes so that I won't paint my nails when hes around,It's like for petes sake I just started painting them thank the lord I didn't start as a child..Sheesh, but just to be a brat I will paint my nails in the living room and will hide my nail polishes so he won't hide them from me.I think that is better muahahaha >:)

                                             DREAMING

Ever since I could remember I've had many dream filled nights.There is hardly any nights that I don't and that is only because I'm so tired that my eyes are red and sting just wanting to close and sleep.Those are the days that I dream absolutely nothing and sleep peaceful.What exactly are dreams?I used to have horrible nightmares and just wierd dreams.You name it and I've probably dreamt it.Last night I dreamt again, and for some reason I try to recall it and I only get bits of pieces. I remember being on vacation somewhere cold in a cabin with a whole lot of other people..and then it switched up to being near the beach.I was walking with my family and I went ahead into the water but quickly panicked when I saw the water retreat and form into a big wave.I t wasn't huge but as soon as that wave hit more came and they got bigger!Everyone else on that beach didn't really see it as a threat.Although I did.Something was telling me that I needed to get my family out of there I ran over and told them we have to go its not safe here.And my dream ended.So instead of dreaming something nice I dream of stuff like that or zombie apocalypse or something evil trying to get me.Weird huh?So I bought me a dream catcher and it's not exactly near my bed but I mean it should work right? Well at least I thought it would and in some way it has.But now it's not everynight that I have bad dreams it's occasionally.So does that mean it does not work?Or maybe I should put it nearer my bed.Now that I think about it..it could be worse.I used to wake up sweating and curled up into a ball.My heart  in beating rapidly and scared to the max!.So eh well see how my dreams go.At least dreaming is better than having no dreams at all right?

                                               NEW FRIENDS.

                                 

Yesterday a co worker of mine gave me a ride home from work since we were both off at the same time.I never really had talked to her and usually keep most of my co workers at a safe distance.So what surprised me was that conversating with her was easy as breathing.Cheesy huh?Haha! We told each other parts of our past and things we both did then and are doing now.We have many things in common and it amazed me that I found someoene who could relate to me.I mean I have friends not alot but I have two who are really close to me.Their my bestfriends and even though I tell them everything from the happiest moments in my life to the most tragic, I could never really tell them the things that bug me.Like how acne freaks me out mostly because I had a horrible breakout in highschool.Or any of my ionsecurities with my body.I opened up to this girl just as she opened up to me.The thing is I believe if a person shares something personal from her life then you should share a piece of yourself.Now I don't go trusting the whole world and am now thnking should I have told her that?Well  to be honest I can't sit here and debate this I will just let it take it's course.And if in the end none of what I told her was spilled then looks like I have a new friend.If not then I know I can talk to her but mostly keep the personal stuff to myself.I hardly make new friends because I'm always the person who listens to them and their problems but no one listens to mine so I got tired of being there for them but them not being there for me.I wonder how this will turn out?Will we become good friends or in the end just hang out for a bit and then go back to just being co workers?Time will tell I'm excited though and maybe having new friends isn't a bad idea but for right now making one new friend is fine and dandy with me:)So I guess I still have trust issues and what can I saw I've been burnt alot in friendships.Well if anyone is reading this thanks for listening to my random rambles and if no one is then oh wells.This is for me.